Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
