yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
