Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
