i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
