Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
