also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
