What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize