and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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