I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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