Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
