two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
