i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
