your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
