margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
There's always time for handjobs
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
