mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
