Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
