Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
More tranny stories later!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
