I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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