I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize