i think my tv is drunk
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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