THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
