We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize