There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize