Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She's the barista slut.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
