thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
