The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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