Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
