chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
