Porn is love you can see.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
