I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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