wrigley field is MILF paradise
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
