dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
