it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
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