Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
