You made me cry and you don't even care
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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