it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
