she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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