He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
