Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
