i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I came so hard my ears popped.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
