I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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