WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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