The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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