I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
