I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
