We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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