If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
