this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize