problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
