Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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