I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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