P.S. I can't hear my feet
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
