We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
