And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
