wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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