guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm too high and old for this...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
