did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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