Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
