I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
