let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
