Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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