You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
