Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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