for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
