Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
